By Claralynn Schnell of ContemporaryVA

When the stress of it all becomes too much to handle, when you feel like you are going to scream or cry or run away…or maybe all three! Who hasn’t been there? I know that I have, sometimes on a weekly basis, daily basis, or heck if I am being honest, sometimes on a minute by minute basis. It’s the daily struggle of a work-life-family balance that can feel so crazy out of sorts and the struggle to be able to be a super mom and do it all.

From the outside, I have a fantastic opportunity, I am a full time working, stay at home mom! Yes, so on a daily basis I work 7-9 hours plus raise my 1 and 3 year old BOYS, yes I said it…BOYS, crazy, dirty, messy, daring, adventures, kind hearted, sensitive boys. I have the joy of raising them, instilling the values and morals that I want them to learn as well as bringing home enough money to support our family. On top of that, I am a single parent who rarely gets a break. Part of this is my fault, in fact, most of it! My mom lives a fence away, literally, there is a gate in her fence that we walk to in about 15 steps. But I never ask for help, I am stuck in this belief that I need to be and do everything. I am embarrassed when she comes over and the house isn’t perfect, and there are toys on the floor, or dishes in the sink. Somehow I feel like a failure.

While not everyone has this specific stress, the work-life balance is one that we all can relate too. How do you find the time to be the best at home, work and in your marriage or relationship? Something has to give, whether it is dropping a ball at work, missing a family event or sacrificing your health to accomplish it all. It feels like in today’s society there is no win, that you really can’t have it all! Here is where the stress comes in…not everyone can do _______ (fill in the blank) like I can. That sentence is good for almost any part of life.

So how to make the change? For me, it has been realizing that asking for help is not a weakness, and realizing that I can’t be perfect and that is ok. It is also, for me a heavy belief in God and counseling 🙂 in talking things out, it doing the best I can and giving myself the grace to be ok with the results. For example, right now, I sit writing this while my kids are in their pajamas and watching a cartoon before bedtime. Why am I working so late tonight you ask? Because I choose to take them to the park and play on the swings for two hours today, that is why I love my job and my balance. It might look strange to some, but for us it works!

Find that balance and find what works for you, set the priorities in your life and then live by them. If you need help setting priorities, working on stress, or finding a balance, call Paul, he can and will help you.