By Claralynn Schnell of Contemporary VA
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.—Lao Tzu
We are all in need of love. Whether it is a platonic love, romantic love or familial love, the innate need to feel loved is primal. Love can be the most intoxicating of emotions, especially a romantic love, but I am going to instead focus on a familial love. One that seems to be drastically changing in today’s society: the love of a parent and child.
I grew up in a time where we could ride our bikes on the street without parents and with little worry of being kidnapped, raped or killed. It was the early 1990s and a time where more than just time outs were “allowed” when it came to parenting. I was spanked, grounded and loved. Yes loved. I always felt the love of my parents and discipline was part of that love. However, I digress. The love that my parents showed me, gave me the confidence to leave the house and feel like I could never fail. How, you might ask? They instilled in me a sense that regardless of what happened that they would always love, support and encourage me. This feeling allowed me to be unafraid of failure and defeat. This kind of love is unconditional and pure. My parents loved me, not because it served a benefit to them or they gained anything from it. They loved me, simply because they loved me.
In today’s society parents are constantly worried about whether their kids are safe, are they making good enough grades to get scholarships and are they acting correctly to make you as a parent look good. It’s not that these fears or worries are not valid, but we as a society have moved away from a pure love and unconditional passion to watch our kids do well and succeed. We have moved away from a time where it is OKAY to fail because with failure comes so many lessons. We are still loving our kids, but the challenges that we as children faced, we are not allowing our kids to face those same challenges and grow. Those challenges are in fact what shaped us to become the adults and parents we are today.
Love comes in different shapes and sizes. In different relationships we choose the type of love that we give to one another. I would challenge you to love your child for who they are and to encourage them within their passions, regardless of success or failure.
Are you struggling in a relationship in your life? Is love something that you struggle with? If so please contact Paul.