by Donna Robertshaw of ContemporaryVA
Parenting can be very stressful. No matter what type of parent you are, if you are a stay at home parent or a working parent, a single parent or a married parent, mother or father, parent of one child or several children; the days can build up till you can’t manage your anger and stress.
None of us are automatically wonderful parents. All of us have to learn the style that works best for us and our children. Learning how to be a parent will probably continue until all your children are grown up. Because each child is unique, what worked with Joe will not necessarily work with Sally, and what worked for Sally probably will not help you cope with George.
When parents handle stress in unhealthy ways — with anger, blame, shouting and so forth — we teach our children to do the same. Suddenly your child is taking it out on their sibling and classmates and sadly, your children are helping you see that it may be time to look for healthier ways to offload your stress.
There are 6 simple steps to help you relax as a parent.
1) Simplify your life. Most of us take on more than we can handle, and then feel resentful about having said “yes” when we wanted to say “no” but this is the most important step. You will never regret spending more time at home with your family.
2) Get enough sleep. One of the best ways to boost your ability to cope with stress is to get more rest. The average person needs 7 to 8 hours a night to recharge. The more rested you feel, the better able you’ll be to deal with life’s challenges.
3) Exercise. One of the best ways to fortify yourself against stress is to exercise regularly. Not all of us are gym rats; I understand. Choose something that you actually enjoy, and consider finding an exercise buddy to make it more fun.
4) Aim for imperfection. Aiming for constant perfection creates ongoing stress. If you’re too tired to clean your house before your relatives come for dinner, allow your best to be good enough.
5) Play. Laugh. Tell jokes. Draw. Have a dance contest with your children. These small acts can make a big difference in your stress level by helping you reconnect with the playful and happy parts of yourself that can get buried under the list of things to do.
6) Get support. If you’re exhausted or need a break, ask for help. Get to know a few other parents who will swap school drop offs, pick ups, or even join a rotating afternoon homework club that moves from house to house. If you don’t have a network of caring, trustworthy people to lean on, it’s time to create one.
Everyone tells new parents to enjoy every moment because it goes by so fast. It’s true. The years go by fast and they can’t be replayed except in our memories or in pictures. So take this time to enjoy each moment. Take a deep breathe, rearrange your schedule, tickle your kids and go for a walk on a trail. You will enjoy discovering life and discovering each other. You will feel the stress and anger just melt away.