by Claralynn Schnell of ContemporaryVA
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or more likely known as PTSD is a prevalent problem in returning combat veterans. As a veteran myself, I remember coming home from my first deployment and being jumpy but thinking nothing of it. I had survived and come home, what did I have to be traumatized about?? This is a common sentiment among many returning vets. It wasn’t until 9 months later when I was at a training exercise preparing for my next trip to Afghanistan that I began to have flashbacks, unable to sleep and afraid to be alone. While I was lucky and had a very minor case of PTSD there are many that are not so lucky. Fear of large crowds is one problem that I still struggle with today, 7 years after that first and very traumatic first deployment. It wasn’t until last year that I could finally enjoy the 4th of July with my family and not feel anxious or that I needed to take cover from the fireworks and leave immediately. I was lucky to have a husband who walked with me as we separated from the crowd in case I felt the need to flee.
Feelings of anxiousness and the unknown of a large crowd is a particularly common fear among many returning vets. Being deployed you are taught to constantly be aware of your surroundings and to search for danger, large crowds are full of large danger and thus evoke extreme emotions. Many times returning vets will not even realize that they are suffering from PTSD or honestly feel like they should have nothing to complain about since many of their “brothers” did not return home. The fear of crowds can be overwhelming to many even if they have not experienced a traumatic experience oversees. Just for a second take a trip into the mind of a combat veteran and realize that what many would view as a normal experience we view as a dangerous experience. “How many IED are in the crowd? What about suicide bombers? Does anyone have a weapon? Has some one yet again strapped explosives to a child so that they can hurt soldiers??” While the large crowd may be in the United States, these questions still race through that veterans mind, taking them back to the battle field. This action and these questions are not ones that a soldier consciously asks but instead is an automatic reaction that has become second nature to a veteran. Slowly integrating into crowds is the best and most efficient way to overcome these fears.
Finding someone to talk to who will not judge you and will listen with open ears and an open heart is the best solution to overcoming the fear of large crowds. Remembering, that as a veteran you are not alone and that you will always have a band of brothers and sisters to support you is a comforting and healing experience. I have my husband who is also a combat veteran of four tours overseas. We share our struggles and fears in an open and safe place, we talk about our deployments so that the fears do not win. We overcome our fears by being honest and open with each other.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in all forms can be a dangerous and scary problem to deal with alone. Remember that you are never alone and simply need to reach out for help. If you are struggling with PTSD and need someone to talk to please contact Paul.