By Claralynn Schnell of Contemporary VA
The 4th of July has passed and I can now rest easy for another year. The fireworks, the crowds, the noise, all things that flash me back to my deployments in Afghanistan. Each year is easier, each year I struggle less, each year I am prouder of myself for how I handle this holiday. This is a holiday that I should love…I gave 6 years of my life to this great nation, and the 4th I would love to celebrate its birthday with friends, families and strangers. However, it is because I love this country so much that I dedicated so many years in the height of the war on terror, that I can no longer enjoy it.
My first deployment lasted 17 months, in those 17 months I learned more than I could ever share, I learned to fear the sound of a whistle, that fireworks sound like incoming rockets, I learned to wake up to the sound of a whistle signaling an incoming missile. I learned to trust instincts I didn’t know even existed in my body. But it is because those senses are so heightened that I can no longer enjoy some simplicities of our wonderful and amazing country. Please don’t get me wrong, what I suffer, is MINIMAL. My scars are tiny compared to others. I don’t say this is diminish my service, my struggles or my journey, but to allow you to see, that if I can say my struggle is minimal and I have this many fears, what others must be going through.
As soldiers, we each deal with our trauma in different ways. I can name my symptoms, but I am 8 years removed from that first deployment. That deployment that taught me not to trust anyone but myself, that deployment that by far, taught me to believe in myself, in the strength I possess and my family. Those are the feelings I still have this many years later. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is no laughing joke, it is a real struggle for too many Combat Veterans. If you know someone or are that someone, I urge you to reach out for help, there are people who want to help you, who want you to succeed. Who want you to believe in yourself again. Please contact Paul for help with this struggle, you are NOT alone.