By Claralynn Schnell of Contemporary VA
Are you satisfied with the intimacy in your marriage? We tend to think of intimacy in only one form…sex. However, true marital intimacy encompasses so much more. True marital intimacy involves emotional, intellectual, heart to heart conversations, working together at common goals and a spiritual intimacy. Reaching the level of intimacy that you want with your spouse takes hard work, dedication and a deep commitment to one another.
In emotional intimacy a couple shares their joys, fears, frustrations, sorrows and, yes, anger with each other. This means letting your guard down and truly letting your spouse in, letting your spouse share all thing, fears and joy.
Intellectual intimacy comes when spouses share a vibrant life of the mind with each other. Discussing new things are important, books, movies, idea, and politics, again, it does not mean that you will always agree, but the bonding over sharing will take place.
Heart- to- heart conversations might be the way that you develop emotional or intellectual intimacy, but sometimes the conversations might not be about anything that momentous. It might just be sharing the stuff of everyday life.
Sometimes deep intimacy can come without words. It may be a knowing glance as you drive along the highway, and you appreciate the view together, or a long consoling hug when a tragedy strikes your family. It can also be the feeling of satisfaction when doing yard work, household repairs, or working on a social cause together.
Spiritual intimacy should not be dismissed as too esoteric or something just for “holy people.” Prayer is a personal encounter with God. Letting your spouse peek into a sliver of that relationship by saying heartfelt prayers of petition or thanks together is the beginning of becoming soul- mates. See, Who Me, Pray?…With Her for ideas.
And of course, there is sexual intimacy. This physical intimacy is so special and profound because it lays bare our bodies in their beauty and imperfection for the pleasure of our spouse. Such a private moment. Such a momentous act of total self-giving and trust that we don’t share with anyone else. It celebrates our joy and stirs us out of apathy. The possibility of new life being born from this loving act is a miracle almost beyond comprehension.
If you are struggling with intimacy in your marriage, please contact Paul.