By Sami Shields of ContemporaryVA
Anger is a normal, natural emotion that may come about for a wide variety of reasons. Most often, anger is a reaction to threats, mistreatment, or frustration. While anger is not enjoyable for most people, it can be healthy. For example, it may motivate you to change an unhappy situation. However, if anger gets too intense, or is expressed inappropriately, it may be harmful to your well-being, relationships, and academic and professional success. Anger is experienced on a broad spectrum, from mild to extreme, with distinct levels that have different effects on your physical, emotional, and cognitive (thinking) states.

If you pay attention to your thoughts as anger builds, you may notice that you have an internal dialogue about your anger as you talk to yourself (silently or aloud) about what is angering you. When your thoughts increase your anger out of proportion to the situation, you are having thought distortions. Learning about the different kinds of thought distortions will help you to monitor your thoughts and respond to them in ways that de-escalate your anger.

Triggers

Triggers are usually a person or event that you believe is causing your emotional response. This emotional upset is your signal to leave the room and compose yourself. To help compose yourself during this emotional upset, remove yourself from the stimulus and find a peaceful place to allow your emotions to get balanced. When you return to your office and emotions rise, keep your composure. Tap a pen, snap a rubber band, or squeeze a small hand ball to release negative energy.

The key to anger prevention is to identify the false beliefs at the root of your emotions. Beliefs are the elemental structure in the mind that cause us to generate certain thoughts and interpretations about things. False beliefs, coupled with other factors like, point of view, combine to create destructive emotional reactions.

Two major ingredients to a person’s anger are fear, and a perception of being mistreated, or abused. Often it is a combination of both. False beliefs are a part of both of these causes. Often the mental scenarios driving the fears and abuse are not real. They can also happen in the mind below a person’s level of awareness.

Anger is a natural fight or flight survival response to a real threat or abuse. Our emotions also respond in the same way to things we imagine. When the abuse or fear is in the imagination, anger is still the emotional reaction, but the causes aren’t seen. This makes anger appear irrational. Here are some “Do’s” and “Don’ts” of dealing with anger.

Do’s

Are you currently struggling with anger? Let us know in the comments below or send a message here.