By Claralynn Schnell of Contemporary VA
Do you find that you are struggling feelings of anger with a spouse? The tiny things that they do get on your nerves and you find that you can stand to be in the same room with them? This is typical of any relationship where you spend a lot of time together, but it doesn’t have to be. You can find the good in your partner and focus on those things. I find when I am most irritated with my partner, it is typically because I am unhappy with something else in my own life and I take out that aggression on the one person that is supposed to always love me. However, continued anger and resentment can break a relationship and it will definitely stop it from growing and flourishing.
Do you have young children? One of the most commons complaints and problems that face partners is the share of domestic and parental responsibilities. Not only is it the added physical labor, but also the mental stress of schedules, clothes size, and shoe size and likes and dislikes of the kids. This built up anger usually ends in an explosion. Psychologists say that women tend to experience temporary relief after an angry outburst. It feels good to release pent-up emotions, and it helps alleviate the stress that rage can cause. Ultimately, though, it’s counterproductive to allow things to reach the boiling point.
Some great tips for not allowing yourself to get to this point is 1. Don’t let the anger build and unless you make a conscious effort to resolve them, bad feelings about a partner will begin to feed on themselves. 2. The next step is to identify which one of your spouse’s behaviors aggravates you the most. You should also talk to your spouse about what’s making you mad — before you explode.
Finally, it’s helpful for young parents to remind themselves that this is a particularly stressful period in any marriage. It’s natural to argue and fight with each other occasionally, and most good relationships can survive that. In fact, learning to work through your differences and disagreements will help you build a stronger relationship — one that will survive long beyond these demanding years of raising young kids.
Do you find yourself dealing with anger? Contact Paul today for help in finding alternative ways to deal with your emotions.