By Claralynn Schnell of Contemporary VA

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” 
– Ambrose Bierce

Controlling your anger can be a difficult and sometimes impossible task, however, here are some anger management tips on how to keep you anger in check.  Always remember that if you are truly struggling with your anger management, you should see the help of a professional.  Anger can be a dangerous emotion if left untreated. Contact Paul if you need help with your anger.

Tip #1: Think before you speak. Remember that you can never retract your words and they can have the power of a million swords.

Tip #2: Speak when you are calm.  Take a couple of deep breaths, walk away, do what you need in order to speak in a clear and calm manner.

Tip #3: Exercise.  I know, that tends to be the answer for everything. However, if you are angry, going for a run or lift weights.  Working out will help to release the adrenaline that occurs when you are angry.

Tip #4: Take a Timeout.  How often do you realize that had you walked away for 10 minutes an argument never would have occurred.  Time outs are used on kids for a reason, anger can be a fleeting emotion that just a couple minutes can help to calm.

Tip #5: Stick with “I” statements.  There is nothing worse in an argument to keep saying, you do this, you make me feel _____.  Instead try, “I feel like _____” “What I hear you say is ____”  See how quickly the anger leaves the other person, when you identify how you feel, instead of telling them how they feel.

Tip #6 Act don’t REACT.  How often do we find ourselves simply reacting to a situation, instead of acting towards that situation.  Just because someone else is angry, you do not need to REACT in anger. You have the choice of how you ACT.

Tip #7: Use Humor.  Humor has an amazing way to change anger to laughter and release the tension.  Once the tension is gone, it is easier to have conversations that before would invoke anger. 

Anger is a normal and healthy emotion, however, excess anger, or spending most days in an angry state is not normal.  Please seek help if you find your anger is out of control.